Renoir Bisque.....vs PIENK.....

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai theeere....

Our kitchen cupboards are being installed tomorrow *clair prays for no rain*. I have been living without a kitchen for like a week now and quite frankly it's enough. I know that i still have another week left, but at least there will be something happening in there!! I never realised how much i use the kitchen until it was gone! Although having an 'outdoor' fridge has certainly helped wto curb snacking, getting up and going OUTSIDE to get something to eat when you feel a 'bit snacky' is just not happening. Also having to wait for the dishwasher for a recepticle to eat the snack off kind of kills the mood.

So, back to the origional topic....the paint saga. Today is Sunday, and the builder sent in one poor lonely painter to paint the kitchen ready for the cupboards to be installed tomorrow. So off he goes, merrily painting the ceiling and the airvents in white and then he removed all the screws from the walls and put some of that polly-filler stuff in them and sanded them all down nicely and then he went and got the tin of 'renoir bisque' which the building supervisor dude had mixed for me and poured it into the tray.

I stood for a few minutes and squited at the tray. (because of course, when you squint or narrow your eyes it changes your vision entirely) I then went to the tin of paint and looked at the swatch on top of the lid. It was kind of like renoir bisque but it just didn't look right. So i stood for about 10 minutes watching the poor guy painting away merrily and then it hit me. PIENK. They had taken my paint codes for Renoir Bisque and had added FLIPPEN PINK TO IT. It looked horrendous!

I called Ewan (who gets orange and pink mixed up so probably not the wisest choice - but never mind) to have a look and we opened up my tin of the real renoir bisque and put the new fake one next to it and it was completely obvious even to Ewan that they are different.

*scream*

Luckily i had one tin of renoir bisque leftover from painting the bedroom, so the painter could use it to paint the kitchen ready for tomorrow morning. Although, it would help if he had actually finished the painting. *sigh*

Now the poor building contractor guy is going to have to take all the paint back and is going to have to get it mixed correctly. I just don't believe it.

I can just see him coming back with 90000 paint samples and none of them being the real thing.
How can it possibly be so difficult to take the codes from the paint, mix them up and get the right colour??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE????

or am i the one with the problem???

*sniff*

Schmoooooozer rhymes with LOSER!!

Haaaaaaaaai there!

Let me start off with a little disclaimer, i am in no way prejudiced against all sales people, only those who graduated from the school of schmooze.

Our poor long suffering, sticky-half-chewed-sweet seat covered, bits of dried chewed soggy mango stuck to the roof, but also much loved car had to go in for a service, which is fine i booked it in about two weeks ago, we collected the rent a car (a RED toyota Yaris.....which deserves a post all of it's own) last night and this morning my husband took our car down the hill to the dealership and is assigned a 'person' to deal with for the duration of our service, i think i will call him simon because it goes nicely with schmooze....schmoozey simon. yes. I skillfully avoided taking the car down to the dealership for it's service, SPECIFICALLY because of schmoozey-simon. Last time i took it in for a service, i had to stop myself from VOM-ing due to the excessive amounts of gratuitous CRUD that spewed-forth from the slimey-sticky mouth of schmoozey-simon and frankly the thought of having to make conversation with him made me feel sick to the stomach *retch*

So after a wonderful day with my family, i get a phone call from a 'withheld' number. I answer the phone and hear 'Well hullo there, is that the lovely Mrs McPhail?' *retch* there is no mistaking that voice.

'Yes hullo Simon.'

'Oooooh you remembered me'

*retch again*

'Right well, Mrs McPhail, i'm just phoning you in connection with your Vehi-clay'
*double retch*

'Well Mrs McPhail, Unfortunately due to unforseen circumstances Mrs McPhail, we had to carry out some additional work Mrs McPhail (why the HELL DOES HE KEEP REPEATING MY NAME????) and Mrs McPhail, i was just giving you a tinkle (*REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETCH*) to give you a quote for the additional work, Mrs McPhail.'

'Now Mrs McPhail, you requested that we replace THE right headlight blub, Mrs McPhail, we have done this at a cost of eighty South African Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrront (i kid you not, this man said RONT with a ROLLED RRRRR) *wretch* also Mrs McPhail, here at Schmoozy-Cars we pride ourselves on our fantastic safety standards and Mrs McPhail we noticed that your brake pads needed replacing, so Mrs McPhail we do feel it necessary to do this and also the brake discs at a cost of one thousand South African Ront.' *reeeetch again* - maybe i have hairballs??

*arb conversation with lots of retardedly fake little giggles from Simon and none in return by me*

'So Mrs McPhail, will you be collecting your vehi-CLAY *gag* this afternoon? Who was it that dropped it off this morning by the way?'

'My Husband'

'aaaw, Mrs McPhail, why are the pretty ones always taken? *fake giggle*'

*DRY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAVE*

So the conversation ended and i thought that was the end of my encounter with Schmoozey Simon.

i was sorely mistaken.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, it turned out that i had to pick up the car....
I walk into the dealership and i can see him, sitting there grinning his annoying fake grin that i'm SURE is just stuck there with two pieces of sticky tape, and then it starts......

'MRS MCPHAIL!! It's SOOO lovely to see you Mrs McPhail!! Please do sit down Mrs McPhail so that i can go through all bits and bobs with you *wretch wretch wretch*'
While i was sitting there, Ewan sms'd me and my phone goes 'MOO!'' when i get an sms.
'OOOOOH!' says simon, 'that's soooo cute!! MY WIFE LOVES COWS!!! What is it about them? They are just sooo cute' *VOM*

'I"m so sorry Mrs McPhail that i couldn't have her (i HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL CARS HER) bathed. *retch* But we just ran out of time Mrs McPhail. But Mrs McPhail, when you're next in the area Mrs McPhail, and you have a half an hour spare Mrs McPhail you must pop in and visit and we'll send her for a bit of a scrub for you, at no additional charge to yourself.'

GEE WHIZZZBANG!! i can't WAIT to spend half an hour in the presence of SCHMOOZEY SIMON!! In fact i'm so excited i think i will go tomorrow........oh rats i just remembered i'm having my TOE NAILS PLUCKED!!!!!!!!!

Mobile Kitchens are manky....

Haaaaaaaaai there!

Its midnight and im lying in bed using my cell phone to post this blog, isn't technology just cool?As you know, we are currently doing renovations and today my kitchen started to get gutted. Its a weird thing looking at my kitchen all empty, feels like my house is missing something. In the mean time i have made up a mobile kitchen in what used to be my shelving system when our house in goble road had no cupboards. Also Rowan has lent me his gas camping stove, its such a clever design, almost like using a REAL appliance. Ha ha ha.

In other events, we are now getting a new fridge because even though the kitchen guy measured our old fridge, they kind of neglected to use the right measurements! Our fridge now will not fit in. Fantastic. Anyway we now have a 1.85 metre gorgeous new fridge so Yay for mistakes even if they sap my curtain budget....*sniff*

What do you mean all this dust was UNNECESARY?!?!?!?!?!?!?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI THEEEEEEEEEEEERE.

Since i last posted, we have started our renovations. Wee! Fun!! Well, not exactly. We have a wonderful builder, he really if fantastic, so friendly and helpful and his crew are great and polite etc. If anyone wants any building done and you're in the greater durban area, you really want to use Arrow Construction. There i've done my bit.

Now, lets move on to my fun story.....My house is kind of separated into two sections, living area (Dining Room, Kitchen, Lounge) and then the bedrooms and bathrooms This was very clever planning. Anyhoo, currently our living area, is uninhabitable. My couches are in the garage, my bookcase is in the bedroom, dining room table is still there but it is covered in like 49 layers of brick dust. I really can't even begin to explain to you what we've had done, but basically it involves breaking down 2 whole walls, one half wall (to make the kitchen open plan with a breakfast bar) moving two doors, and making the floors level in two separate areas. The entire kitchen has to be stripped is being re-done entirely. The floors are being ripped up and tiled and everywhere is being plastered and or painted. The bedroom and bathroom area are not being touched. It's not really a massive job, but boy oh boy ooooh boy is it messy.

So far we have got most of the breaking down of stuff out of the way, its just the half wall left to demolish and then everything else like the tiling and stripping of kitchen. I thought that the worst of the mess was over, i mean logically you'd think that breaking down a wall would be messier than chasing cables? Right? WRONG.
OOOH MY GOODNESS GRAPEJUICE.

The electrician arrived today to chase the cables, i had NO idea what that meant up until today and now that i know, i wish i'd known earlier so that i could have avoided it at all costs. Basically it involves making like channels in walls following electrical cables to put in plugs, light switches etc. Doesn't sound too bad really. They use an angle grinder and something else i *think* i couldn't really tell. My kids, domestic worker and i were in the bedroom end of the house, expecting a little bit of dust. NEXT THING there is bright red, ultra-fine brick dust POURING in through the inter leading door. I won't go into long details but basically, everything in my house is red. The floor, the walls, INSIDE the cupboards (which were closed) the ceilings, the GARAGE, the garden, just everywhere, you name the surface, and i'm pretty much willing to put money on the fact that it has dust on it. The cats have spent the whole entire afternoon/evening cleaning themselves. Anyway so i got the kids out the window and went to seek refuge at my mom's house while they finished up.
While all this was happening i spoke to my sister in-law who has just had the MOST gorgeous little girl. I was telling her all about the red dust and the mess etc etc. Her husband (my husband's brother) is a qualified electrician. We get home at about 6:30 and the electrician has turned the lights off in the 'uninhabitable, living' area So we can't even turn lights on, next thing the phone rings, it's Rory (my husband's brother) calling to find out why on earth there is so much mess and dust. Ewan explained to him that the electrician was chasing points etc etc. Rory got all cross and informed us that for R160 a day you can hire a DUSTLESS ANGLE GRINDER. *FUME* I am absolutely fuuurious. SO yes, all this dust was completely unnecessary.

SO i'm just warning you mr electrician. You know who you are. i WILL hunt you down and when i find you, i'm going to empty the entire contents of my vacuum cleaner inside your car seeing as you like unnecessary dust so much............