Rock Boobs and Nipple Grippers!

Dan is turning 1 on Thursday.

What on earth happened to my newborn??? Now he's crawling around, doing this weird little cyclopse/side-saddle crab-crawl, pointing at stuff going 'OOOHOOOH OOOOH!!' and chomping his way through boudoir's like they are going out of fashion, even though he only has 3 teeth. Or should i say 'nipple-grippers'.

Before Dan was born, i had all these well thought out plans, to give him a dummy, even in the hospital, and express milk for him and give it to him in bottles so that i could go out...to start him on the odd bottle of formula at one. Evidently, thick-thicky McThickThick over here forgot to consult with his royal highness on these matters.

Basically, Dan's take on the whole situation is as follows:-

1. Milk comes out of breasts. If i can't personally extract it from a breast i don't want it.

2. Why would i want a dummy when mom has nipples i can just suck on for ages!?

3. Dummies are only for stupid babies.

4. Bottles are only for stupid babies.

5. Teeth (nipple grippers) are to be used when nipples get removed from my mouth before i am finished drinking OR just using it as a dummy.

6. I can't sleep unless the nipples are close by....ie close enough to reach over and help myself to.

7. I prefer milk to food.

I am the first person on earth to say that breastfeeding is wonderful for both mothers and more importantly babies. But i think Dan may have taken this whole 'demand feed' thing a bit too far.

I am now starting the long and difficult 'rock-boob' (where your body makes so much milk that your boobs become rock hard and when the baby starts feeding it feels like you have a dreadful case of pins and needles) road that leads to reducing feeds at night. My body has got so used to making large quantities of milk for his lordship that it's going to be a rocky road ha ha. i know.

All that said and done i know i will be all upset when it's time to wean him....why are mother's so daft???