I went into the changeroom at the brand new spangly woolies today with a pair of size 10 jean pant to try on and a pair of size 8 jean pant to try on. Size 8. Let me just take that in......
The size 10 are too big. The size 8 are snug, I don't like snug pants, I'm terrified of someone going OH MY GOODNESS who gave that hippopotamus permission to get into those tight pants. Which means I am a size 9. ha ha ha. what a laugh. The pair of 8 pants I own (the ones I'm wearing in the before/after pics in a previous post actually) fit me perfectly, why do different shops make their pants slightly different sizes? I'm convinced that it's just to torture me.
So here's the confession. I am absolutely, completely and utterly terrified of putting on weight again. Not to the point where I obsess about what I eat, because I'm pretty good about that, but it bothers me to think that I could probably quite easily put on a few kilos in a few weeks. eek. At this point you're probably thinking that I'm incredibly vain. Maybe I am. But when you have been overweight for about 19 years of your 26 year life, you tend to battle to feel anything different about your body. I can't believe what comfort I used to find in food, now i just don't get that feeling from it anymore which is a really REALLY good thing otherwise i could too easily slip back into comfort eating I think.
Lisa said something to me the other day which really made me realise how stupid humans are, we cannot actually mess around with food, we just take it for granted, but stuffing around with it is actually not such a grand plan. (Sorry sweet that's a like total paraphrase) But she's so right, food has consequences!! Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
I had to buy a new belt today, (mine wraps around my hips one and a half times) and do you know something, I picked up a medium, examined it carefully, and thought to myself 'there is NO way that will go around me!' I measured it and sure enough, perfect fit, in fact i could have probably gone for the small. I looked at my jeans this morning and thought to myself ' can't believe my legs fit in there.' Why does it take us so long to change our mental/emotional perception of ourselves?
Old habits die hard...I suppose.
