Cliff Jennings....

So, old Cliff Jennings is a fake. Well all I can say is thank heavens, it means that town hill can relax and un-reserve the next available bed!!

For anyone to sing that badly, and take himself that seriously would just have been well, for want of a better word...wrong! His singing was horrendous and as for his song writing skills...they certainly left a lot to be desired. I mean come on, who would honestly write a song about a 'nubian princess' in any case?

BUT having said that, he was really entertaining, I'll be very interested to see what they have planned to explain themselves. I'm sure we will see on Sunday's show.

I'll also be very interested to find out whether or not it had anything to do with the creators of Idols....if it did, then how do we know that any of the contestants are actually 'real'

And so begins the conspiracy theory......

The drugs don't work....

I know, it's been a very long time since I actually wrote a post worth reading, I've not been lazy, it's just that I am so completely sleep deprived that if I did post, it would certainly not be worth reading at all.  Promise.

Dan and Caleb had their usual mid-August green snot and I took them off to see Dr Manjra, who asked me how Daniel's sleeping was going....I just burst out laughing, and I must have looked pretty darn desperate at that point because he said to me 'Why don't I give you a script for an anti-histamine that has a very 'unusual' side-effect....it makes your child sleep for the entire night. '  I was unsure at first and then, after much re-assurance from Dr M that it cannot harm him at all I warmed up to the idea of having a full night of sleep.

I very guiltily decided to give it to him about 3 days later, and it took hours of agonising to actually finally decide to give it to him. (I am one of those paranoid mommies who does not give medicine to her kids unless it is  deemed absolutely necessary by Dr B or Dr M) I gave him half the dose recommended by Dr M and put him to bed hoping for the best.  We checked his breathing several hundred times and he woke up for the first time at 4am!  7pm - 4am.  I was on top of the world, singing happy songs, and seeing little clumps of blue-birds above everybody's head.  The most solid sleep I have had since Daniel was born!!

Then, we decided to try it again about 2 weeks later, this time I gave him 3ml instead of 2.5ml just because we were having a farewell for my friend at home and I intended to have a few brutal fruits.  11pm....he woke up, 12 he woke up, 2am he woke up, 3am he woke up.   Why me?

After that we have tried it one more time, this time I also gave him 3ml, and he woke up at 1am, 2:30am and 4am.  He also got up while I was trying to put him to bed and hobbled around the bedroom!!!

Will I ever be able to sleep?

Why does he hate me so?

This post contains nudity.....

The boys had their best bath EVER last night.  They just played and played and played until the water got cold, and then we added some more hot water and they played some more!

Man I love my kids!!!!!

My Dan-Dan

*gush* thats my boy!

Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, BUGGER.

You know when look back at a day that you've endured and feel like sinking into a hole??

I joined Virgin Active gym yesterday (Monday) so that I could start doing a bit of exercise to firm up the jiggly bits, got the clothes and everything and decided that today (Tuesday) should be the beginning of my new era of fitness!  This is how it went....

07:30am get out of bed and put on gym clothes.  Try on 16 different tops.

07:50am look at hair in mirror....ghastly.  Fix hair.

08:15am feed baby breakfast - baby sneezes caramel jungle oats all over my gym top.   Put on new gym top, try on 15 different tops AGAIN.

08:45am feed baby milk.

09:00am start heading out the door, scratching madly in handbag for car keys......

09:06am get sms from husband 'Love, i've got the carkeys.' BUGGER.  Husband works in umhlanga.  Spare key has no batteries. 

09:15am phone Renault and find out how to start car without battery in key.

09:30am head off to gym, looking frazzled, baby not happy about being in the car.

09:45am arrive at gym, sign baby into 'Club-V' (ie baby creche thingy) and go to changeroom to put my bag in the locker.  Forgot padlock. BUGGER.  Give all my bags to the lady at the creche.

10:00am step onto treadmill, realise that i don't know how to work the thing (touch-screen with isidingo or some crap on it) look casual like (so as not to attract any gym personell) eventually get going.  Do a 20 minute run, am starting to really get into it and am now just starting to sweat a bit....

10:20am  'Mrs McPhail, please report to the Club-V area immediately'  BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER.  Press the stop button on the treadmill and rush downstairs.

10:23am baby is hysterical, has been crying for 10 minutes non-stop.  Try to comfort him but he's just not having any of it.  Debate whether or not to just go home and shower...realise, can't shower at home, because husband has remote for complex gate...i can get in, but not out again....have to pick caleb up at 12.....BUGGER.  Decide to ask the lady to hold onto screaming baby for 15 minutes while i shower.

10:30am Head off to shower, wash hair and body in 5 minutes. put on clothes in 5 minutes....

10:35am creche lady appears in change room with screaming baby and stalks off looking cross.  stuff you creche lady.

10:40am dry hair with, now smug baby sitting on the counter cooing and gurgling happily.  stuff you baby, stuff you!

10:45am scream out of the gym, up the  slated stairs that go over the pool, feel my show come off, my favourite shoe....hear *plop*  F*&#!!!!!! BUGGER.  Yep. shoe in pool.

10:47am walk up to gym staff member.   "i just dropped my shoe in the pool.  No, i don't want it back'  Head out of gym wearing ONE SHOE.  Buy new shoes.

*some time passes*

12:00 pick up caleb, his teacher informs me that he has been a total little toad today. Bugger.

Drive to umhlanga, get keys, have lunch with husband.  drive home.

15:00pm arrive home, eat approx 600grams of cooking chocolate.  feel sick.  it wasn't even good chocolate.

I wonder if i should go to gym tomorrow.............

You have been warned...

Heeeeelp!

I am so tired that I find myself thinking in circles and talking crap.  Okay, maybe i'm just looking for an excuse to 'talk crap' because it's something i do relatively often...ok it's something i do ALL THE TIME.

That's totally beside the point.

So, what I want to know is:-  Who can help me??

I've got a 15 month old son, Daniel, he is an absolute cherub...BUT he is a little green devil-monster and night.  He goes to sleep with relative ease, but then.....he starts to grow horns and wakes up at round about 12 and then he is a right royal pain in the ass.  Unfortunately, he won't go to sleep without having a little drinkie-poo at the mobile-milk bar (me). Which is ok, except now he doesn't want to leave the mobile milk bar, he just wants to stay attached to it all night long, and as soon as I move away from him, he sits up in bed, points at my bosoms and then wails, desperately like he's being murdered.  Which means that i am getting, at best 2 hours sleep a night.    There is just no way i can sleep which he is sucking on me!  I wake up feeling like i've had micro-abrasion on my nipples!!

His latest trick is, after being fed, to pretend to be asleep in my arms, at which point i pop him back in his bed, then he sits up, points at our bed, throws his head back and waaaails like only Dan Dan can wail, until he's in our bed and then he requests a little drinkie, by, very subtly, pulling my Pjyama top down!  What a F&*()ing liberty!!

Yes, i have tried dummies, he can projectile spit them across the room.

Yes, i have tried bottles, he is NOT into bottles, he refuses, buttons up his mouth and screams blue murder.

If my husband picks him up at night when he wakes up, he screams and throws a massive wobbly. 

We don't agree with 'controlled crying'. 

Does anyone have any suggestions??

Please?

*rocks self gently*